The city lights…

I went on the balcony and looked at the city outside. It was night and the city lights were glowing away. I was feeling terribly alone and very irritated. I just stared at the lights and the city made me feel better. I remembered I used to watch the stars as a kid and looked up in the sky, I didn’t see any stars. But the city was shimmering like a diamond. The little dots of yellow and white with a dash of red and orange, I felt so much at peace. I smiled and looked on at the city. How could I feel lonely when the whole city was awake. Awake and busy, celebrating and having fun. The whole place, lit up, looking so festive and so happy. The city lights are so beautiful. They make me feel so alive. I was not abandoned, they were with me…

I turned and went back inside, feeling good. To the party. They were celebrating for me, with me. The whole city was celebrating with me.

when we moved furniture

adventure of powderpuff girls

Thats us!

This one particular day I won’t forget in a hurry.

Time:Sem 6 , last day of 1st IT
Place: Girls hostel, D6 block
Actors: Arya, Darshana, Sheena , Shruti and Me
Event: Well, you’ll know..

It was just when we had got our first time hostel allocation, we all are love-to-stay-at-home type of people so it was in the 6th semester of engineering when we thought of hostel for the first time. And we were so entralled about getting another place to hang out (after the parking lot) that we didn’t mind the walk all the way to block D6.

So it was after one IT paper in the morning, we had another 2-3 hours before the next, so we all decided to go and study in the hostel room. Well, we never ended up going back to answer that last paper but that part is yet to come. We decided the room needed to be tidied up and rearranged before we could live there and we couldn’t concentrate on studies (hee hee), so the dusting began. And then we realised there was one bed less! And we found out that the people in the other room had one extra, but how would we take it. We didn’t want to get involved into arguments on the first day. So we went hunting for another unused bed. And there it was! On the first floor, in a unused room. Yeah, the story starts here, when we decided to lift and bring it down. Darshana was just out of typhoid so we were 4 of us to do it. Arya, who didn’t even liv in the hostel, Shruti, Sheena and me! It was my idea, it couldn’t be that heavy and we needed it..(powderpuff girls theme song starts here) Well, it was a narrow cot, would easily pass through the door, and we lifted it,two on each end, and brought it out of the door. It was half way down the stairs and thats when it happened!! The other end of the cot got stuck in the door!!!

Stupid uneven piece of furniture! With one longer leg! We brought it a few steps backward and turned it sideways but still it wouldn’t go out. And now, it was hopelessly stuck in the door. It wouldn’t budge, neither in or out! We couldn’t even keep it back in its place and go! So two of us inside the door and two holding it from outside, we stood there, laughing uncontrollably! We were so stuck and had no clue how to get out of this!! Then people started coming to go to their rooms and “the new hostelites” had blocked the staircase. We sweated out, kicked it, pulled it, pushed it but it wouldn’t move! We also tried hair oil and soap water! It was wood and obviously didn’t help in a bit but we were desperate! We couldn’t go get help also cos we didn’t know who could and who couldn’t come to the girls blocks!

Finally Shruti said we will have to go get files or something from the carpentry workshop. But none of us were ready to explain our predicament to anyone! And frustrated and helpless, Sheena got some super power from somewhere and shouting out loudly, gave the cot this awesome solid kick and it gave way! Phew!! Thankfully the two on the stairs didn’t go under it. We were steady now and we brought it down to our room. It wasn’t a piece of cake even after getting out the door but the worst was done. Man! that day was so funnily and tiringly awesome! Yeah this took a lot of time and we all ended up bunking the IT paper and getting screwed cos of that later. Also we stayed in the hostel for 3 weeks maximum in all in the whole sem and didn’t apply for hostel in the next sem… But then who does such things everyday.. This thing that we did, I’ll remember ….time of my life!!!

I’m Alive..

The other day I was driving my bike home after whole day of college. And just when I started, it started raining. And not just raining, it was pouring. Nearly soaked to bone( second time that day), and shivering in that cold, all I could think of was how much that moment was making me feel alive. The rain drops were huge and were pelting me on the face so hard that it actually hurt. But the rain didn’t stop and neither did I.

I was just thinking of the little things which make me feel so alive..

the morning time when the sun has risen and everything looks so fresh

the aroma of coffee

the breeze on my face when i drive back home after 8 hrs of college

the sound of music

the smell of good food

the feeling of being loved

the thousands of colors and noises on a busy road

the heart ache when I miss some lovely people

that feeling when I’m dead tired after working hard for something which was totally worth it

the tension about future

the laughter which seems to always stay in the air when with friends

the celebrations at every festival

….
It feels so good to think about all the things which make me feel good. This makes me feel so alive …

Is it that easy to find true love?

Questions Questions Questions..

Who can answer them?

Is is that easy that we meet somebody and that person is the one for us? How do we know if that person is THE ONE? Is it so simple that we meet somebody, spend sometime with them and fall in love with them? Is it it then? Are we with someone because we think they are the one for us? What if our real soulmate walks by and we don’t see them? Or what if we go to find our soulmates and in that search we lose what we had? What if what we had was perfect? Will it come back to us if it is meant to be? How do we find out if its worth it to try to search for our soulmates? How do we even know if there is someone perfect for us? Is it sensible to be practical and not look for perfection? Is it sensible to be sensible? Is it ever perfect? Should we try to make something that we have perfect ? Or should we go on looking for something that we want? What if its not out there? What if we’d lose everything we have? Are we in this for the right reasons? Is it love or security? Is it true love? Or what is true love?

Is it that easy to find true love?

P.S. Please post your thoughts, I’d like to know what people think about this..

On a patriotic note…

Today is the eve of India’s 62nd Independence Day. I remember how every year I used to attend flag hoisting in school, take part in the march past etc. Seeing the Tiranga being hoisted always  made me feel so proud about my country and tears would well up in my eyes.
Now I don’t attend flag hoisting, or even might sleep late tomorrow but it doesn’t mean anything has changed. Many people say that there are so many things about India that makes them feel not close to great about it and that there are a lot of bad things about India, but that proud feeling for India will never change in my mind.

What I want to share today is a wonderful memory, one of the greatest feelings I ever had. It was in January 2008, we were on our college tour to North India. Thats when I went to Wagah Border. I had heard a lot about that place and seen it on TV. For those who don’t know, Wagah Border is a place on the border of India and Pakistan, there are huge archways on either side and a huge amphitheatre type of place for visitors to sit and watch the ceremony of lowering the flags of India and Pakistan every evening.

When we reached Wagah Border and made sure we had good seats with a good view of the ceremony. With our cameras rolling and hearts beating we waited to see what its going to be like. But before the march and band started, the guards started calling people from the crowd to run with the flag along the road towards the border and back. And many guys rushed forward. Then the soldiers came near where we were sitting and told us to come and dance as they played famous patriotic songs one after the other. We didn’t waste a minute and were on the floor( road more like it). There was Arya, Sheena, Michelle, Akshata, me and a few girls from Delhi. And then we danced!!!! I had danced till i dropped for many parties and HOPs and JAM sessions. But none of those was comparable to this experience even in a tiny way. That was a great great feeling, when the music played and we danced away, as the large crowd on the India side watched us, cheering us on and the people on the Pakistan side looked on at our enthusiasm. It was an experience like never before, to go out there and dance for our country!! We didn’t stop to think if we look stupid or whatever, because at that point of time, it just felt superb to be there. To be there with that feeling for India. I would like to say, with all due respect, that it was probably like a millionth of the feeling that the soldiers have when they fight at our borders. And it was ecstasy!!

 

The ceremony that followed was much better than it looked on TV ever, and it made me feel tons better. Yeah, I know India might not be exactly a country of everyone’s dream, but its ours, ours to love and respect and ours to improve. India gives me a feeling of pride, and more of happiness! And I believe Indians are people of feelings, and that’s what keeps us together. I feel bad for the people who have nothing big to believe in, in their lives.

Anyway, Happy Independence Day!!

Thats All.

confessions..

Confessions..

As I was humming “Kiss me” to myself today,  I remembered distinctly the time when I went on stage during Tandav. Rather the time just before that. I was freaking out and making a fool outta myself infront of my very much calm and composed friend who was to accompany me on the stage.

That evening I remember as a breakthrough in my life, for I have been demented by the stage for as long as I remember.  It was after that evening, when I’ve been confident , been on stage, given interviews and done it splendidly.

Stage fear, well, isn’t so much of a problem anymore, althought I surely feel far from as comfortable as the people who inherently feel at home on stage. Yeah, I’ve always been surrounded by those people who are so easy-going on stage, that I thought my effort, if I ever considered to do it, seemed like a waste. Loads of books, people told me – just be yourself, be confident, don’t think what the people are thinking about you, but its all bullcrap.

I know what it is like, to go infront of that audience and then you know in your mind that you’re gonna screwup and then you do , cos u thought you would and then there it is. Those hundreds of eyes looking in your direction and that feeling of wanting to be anywhere else but there, and you dunno what to say. I know that feeling.

But something did help me, overcome this fear. Not any books, or great orators, but friends who actually had the same problems. I remember one – a really long time back chat friend, who said he had the same fear but got over it by doing it just once. Do what you fear and it’ll not be scary anymore. It is that step which is difficult to take. But that alone didn’t help me. HOW WOULD I TAKE THE FIRST STEP! I COULDN’T.. What did help me, much later, was this dear friend of mine.  I had given the worst seminar of my life and was quite sad about it when he told me how he overcame his problem. It requires a lot of practice to do well on stage. You have to go over it again and again. AND IT WORKED ! Although there will always be people who do it without any effort and all the practice doesnt actually make you a good orator and that all.. But there are people who need to take the trouble.

And I did, and it turned out great. Thereafter it has been great, even without  much effort. I think it was some simple but really worthy advice.

Thats All.

i wish…

I wish…

These words hardly ever end with something definite, something solid with only one answer. There must be many times in a day when we say I wish, or I hope something that we want happens. But when it comes to wishing for real, I have found it hard to ask for something I wanted. For when i believe that my wish will come true, I fear to wish for something that might not be fulfilled proving my belief wrong. So most of my wishes are abstract such as a wish for a good or successful life which never has one definite outcome.

I believe that we hardly wish for something that we really want because what we want is a different thing from a wish. Wishes may not come true yet we believe in them and we do wish, whenever we can. Whenever we see a shooting star, although it has a scientific explanation, we make a wish. Even if it does not come true, we just justify it in our mind and make another wish the next time. Or when there is an eyelash on your face, you make a wish, no matter how small or how big and you don’t even remember about it in the next moment, but when there is a chance to make a wish,you take it. Sometimes in a desperate moment, you wish you had those three wishes from the Genie, and again you are wishing for something which you don’t even believe in. Whenever we read the story of how a simpleton lost his three wishes without gaining anything, and we think , if I had three wishes, my third wish would be always for three more. As much as we don’t believe in wishes, we will never stop wishing. And we shouldn’t. Maybe someone’s listening. (never give up hope, do we now?)

Wishes , wishes.. there are so many. and how I wish they all came true.

Being selfish is the only way to be

If you are wondering what the title is all about, I’m sure you must have read till here to find out, so let me tell you what inspired it.
I read a book, it was so true, so simple yet so intriguing. I tried hard not to profess about it, but the book helped me out of that problem too.

It said: “Live for your own sake, not for any other, and do not expect any one to live for you.”

Sounds insensitive? Believe me , it isn’t. If you realize what it means, you won’t think so. Every man does live for himself, not for any other. However much one might talk about being selfless, the truth is that there is no such thing as selflessness.
Getting to what began this discussion , being selfish is the only way to be! I say that because, whatever a person does, he does it for himself. A person says he’s being selfless when he does something for someone else with nothing for himself in the course. But the very fact that he’s doing it means it makes him happy, so the fact is that he’s doing it for himself. Of course there’ll be many takes on this issue. But the truth is that any action taken by a man, is for himself and if this is not true, then there is so self. If there is self, there’s mind, there’s no selflessness.

I write this here for the sake of myself alone, and none other. I want you to read it, to say something about it, I shall not deny that I want to be read. But I only hope that you shall read for your sake alone and not mine. And if you really understand what I mean, the answer to the question raging in your mind is:
The book is Atlas Shrugged.

(I’ve been absent from this section for a long time, this has something interesting behind it too. A friend told me that a blog is not supposed to be personal, I couldn’t really think of anything else, so I kinda took a break. Now the fact why I resumed, is quite understandable from the what is above.)

of magic wands n death rings n cellphones

I had received this SMS many days back saying that calls from certain numbers cause exposure to high frequency which results in brain hemorrhage. Obviously, I ignored it as I do all kind of chain messages and mails. I had conveniently forgotten all about it, until today when our maid decided to tell mum about it and that it was on the news channels too. I was thoroughly pissed off, wondering why news channels spread such rumors!!

So I had to find out about this whole issue and I thought it would be nice to share the information. This whole “a Ring from death” is a HOAX!! I’m sure most of you must know that, but even after calling ourselves the generation of the 21st century, where magic wands and death eaters are in movies only, everyone, once in a while gives in to their nameless fears.

The most important reason why this whole “mobile death thing” cannot happen is because it is most illogical. You get a call from a certain number, and Bang! You are dead! Isn’t that ultimately crazy? But still, this SMS, I’m sure, must have passed on from your cell at some point of time too! Anyway, the point is that a mobile phone CANNOT transmit those high frequencies which allegedly cause brain hemorrhage. The funny part here is that if a human ear is exposed to 120 decibels of sound continuously for 5 hrs, there’s a chance of hearing loss, only a hearing loss. And a normal conversation is of 35 decibels of sound, so basically it’s not possible to be affected by sound waves.
Moreover, for a very high frequency to be transmitted, it requires very high wattages of power, even those frequencies cause temporary hearing disability and a typical cell phone has a power of around 2 watts only!!! And the part where the “death numbers” appear in Red, I do not wish to comment! I wish I had some red on my black n white phone .

The brain is protected by the skull and can be damaged only through physical impact. And this whole thing is probably going in lines of the movie “The Ring” (nice movie !) where people die on watching a tape! Our cell phones are not magic wands, they are just cell phones. So dear people, sit back and enjoy these movies of wands and rings, but don’t let the crap get to your head!!

(The facts and figures are acquired from some articles on the net and certain other terminologies are from the Harry Potter books!)

the worst thing that happens

ive been really outta this section for so long n its cos of exms…. its my last theory paper of the exm tom n i hav certainly lost it…. patience concentration n everything.

al these days , months actually, i was waitin for exms to get over ! n now finally tom is the day….!!!! but i dont seem to study or anythin today jus cos im too busy thinkin abt the hols n looks liek im gonna hav a screwy time tom! last papers are difficult , the worst time of the exm.. i hate it so much. after waitin for so many days , when the end of exm is finally here we hav to study for another paper! n that too electronics! i mean i hate it!

its so bad that i feel that the last paper shud be banned. it doesnt make sense but if u think it does it will.. whoever might be readin this wil certainly not read my blog again!

i hav gone crazy. i cud write a song abt havin gone crazy..
ciao for now i wil study enough to pass atleast!